Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don’t I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?

I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me,
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break,
I crave, I love, I’ve waited long enough,
I try as hard as I can.

Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don’t I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?

I laugh, I feel, I make believe it’s real,
I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees,
I hope, I stand, I take it like a man,
I try as hard as I can.

Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don’t I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?

Why do you see, why do you see, why do you see right through me?

i am twisted...

seriously.. i twisted my neck. nearly died while my dad tried to help me reduce the pain. whatever he did.. it worked! i cld turn my head at bigger angles. however, it's still mother f***ing pain. spoils the mood for anything and everything. hopefully i recover before the msia trip. damnit.  i can't decide if having a sprained neck or sprained foot is worse. they're both equally bad. it's causing me to have major headaches. oh what to do... 

i realise.. the 3 of us (me, kc, shan) alws end up taking random & horrigible pics at random times and places. AND we alws look sooo different each time. haha. how much can a person change man! 

Things to do:

1) take the car for servicing
2) buy some salonpas medicated plasters for my bloody neck
3) arrange trips with ml and/or shan
4) upload aged old sch pics before jiayi kills me
5) extend lib due dates
6) find bridge/mj/supper khakis!
7) eat steak! lol
8) play badm
9) pack luggage for msia trip

emo_gal86

feeling sad and happy. happy that i get a break. sad that i'm leaving so many people behind. its a strange strange feeling. sometimes u just wanna die of frustration, stress, anger or sian-ness in school. but at the same time memories have been formed and you miss it all the same. especially the colleagues who you see day in and day out. the routine in life that you've gotten so accustomed to. feels so weird that i no longer have to drive down the same road to sch and wake up so goddamn early inta morning just to sing the national anthem etc. tho i really do think i'm not mature enough to be a teacher yet. a lot of times i feel as tho i'm still a student and i'm not ata right point in my life to be a teacher yet. to appreciate being a teacher more like. 

amusingly stressed on friday. even tho it was my last day. had lessons cos my darling pooner was on course. then had to settle all the returning keys, signing forms, getting all the hods to sign forms, clear desk, recycle some stuff, write some notes to some colleagues to thank them. only wrote like a handful of notes inta end. cos i seriously ran outta time. like the auntie who was closing e staffroom actually had to wait an additional 10min for me. i was running ard the staffroom trying to randomly dump notes here n there. goodness. its ironic that i was so free and relaxed the wks prior to my last day. ironic indeed. ahh man.. i'm missing my colleagues and bits of peicai already and its only been 2 days. strange. perhaps absence really does make the heart grow fonder. hmm... 

anw i was really touched on friday. the party that my form class and cinda threw for me, the collage they did and some presents and personal letters i received. even when i was talking to cinda, we were both slightly tearing somehow. so emo man. goodness. can you really miss an environment you once supposely hated since day 1? teaching was definitely a profession i nv considered ata beginning n a job i prolly was determined not to like. i suppose time really does change everything. or perhaps we are just fickle. RESPECT MAN.